TERRIFYING

TERRIFYING
Philip Vermaas

Flicking through the channels,
waiting for TV
worth not hating,
then settling on Fear Factor
which, though not
my usual fare,
was fucking fascinating.

A special edition
of sash and swim-suit
beauty queens
trying to out butch
each other.

They hear they’re going
through a three-stage tunnel,
where padlocked levers
allow you through,
and release
first worms,
then dead fish
and,
as the coup de yuk,
fish oil.
On hearing the last,
Lacey, Miss Oklahoma,
asks, in earnest,
“What’s fish oil?”

Miss Whereeverthefuck
is taken by surprise.
“It’s oil,” she explains
with high eyebrows
and roving eyes,
“from fish.”

“Fish have oil?” says Lacey,
amazed.
Needless to say,
Miss Oklahoma’s
score was equal
to her brain,
she was the only one
who forgot a key,
which were the focus
of the task
and
there were only three.

Except for the colour
of the goo she left wearing,
it must have been
high school all over again.

©2011 This work is the property of the author.

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Posted on December 6, 2011, in Philip Vermaas, POETRY and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. m lewis redford

    I still like Miss Oklahoma – ‘fish have oil?’ – I’m a sucker for fresh naivete.

    I hate to be a bore but shouldn’t the first word of the last stanza be ‘Except’ rather than ‘Expect’?

  2. Except and expect are just one of my many bete noirs. Thanks for the heads-up. I still cannot type poem, I always type peom, and bringing, without fail, ends up brining. Worse still, I always read expect as except, when I’ve written it myself. I have to physically go and look for it with find and replace to catch it.

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