B.Z. Niditch

Matte, Olga, Dr. Lucy and the whole cia kgb cabal are frustrated with not capturing the Adam and Eva space ship or destroying them on their earth trekkie voyage, but they are determined to kidnap them and send out the royal robots which Adam rebuffs as he is now re-bugging his Zoosphere was was damaged in all the missile attacks.

“Eva, the Zoosphere seemed beyond repair but after I was refreshed by a respite of brain food and drink it is now spatially functional.”

“Adam, we have had such close calls of late do you think we should send up a peace offering up to our enemies through the Zoosphere?”

“To think that, even in outer space away from human beings, we still have that instinctive Martian urge to fight. The urge we once thought belonged exclusively to the home planet crowd.”  

“Don’t just blame Mars.”

“Once I was in a Mars bar, heavily drunk. It was after we had that spat when Matte tried to coax me to leave you for her.”  

“I watched her attempted seduction on the Zoosphere. But you came back to me.”

“I devoured a Mars bar and a shot of vodka, slept during my hangover on the trip back to our planet and we made out and made up.”

Eva watches, on the plexiglass of the Zoosphere, a private screening of  “A girl can’t help it”.

Her partner is seeing the “Seven Year Itch” with Marilyn Monroe.

Sylvester Cain lands and wants to have an intellectual threesome on how to counter-attack the cabal with his new rocket; a rocket he has in his pocket which extends to any solar system.

“Hey, man, why don’t we cool it for a while”.

Cain puts on “Citizen Kane”, his favorite movie which he made into a musical, just as he’d done for “A Space Iliad”, “War and Peace”, “Prisoner of Devil’s Island”, “Prisoner of Zenda” and “Man with the Iron Mask”.       

All of a sudden Bruce Valentino lands. “Are you spying for the cabal?”

“Not yet, nor am I doing anything cabalistic or mystical; but I am going ballistic, Cain, over your musicals on the Zoosphere.”

“You were always musical, Bruce. You were the star of my all-leather movie remake of  “On the Waterfront”, when you did the Frug with Jason.”

“Jason is now running for mayor of Uranus, and has a good chance of winning against Olga.”

“Cain, you always gave me the free-love parts.”

“Is that why you’re in a see-through three-piece space suit.”

“It’s rumored on the gossip page of the Space Times: you need someone to play in “Plan Nine from Outer Space”, the musical.”

“I had you in mind for the part, Bruce, but you must sever your tie with cia kgb and then I’ll give you the leading part and contract, of course.”

“But my sister…”

“You can be a free agent”

“I don’t want to be hauled up in front of the Stalin McCarthy Un-Space Activities Committee.”

“Then sign on the dotted line and I assure you, Bruce, with all your well-endowed musical numbers you’ll be a nominee for a Jupiter Oscar, or at least win a Uranian film prize for dirty dancing to my score.”

“I’ll do anything to get the part.”

“You sound like your twin sister when you were young protégés on “On the Little Dipper”.       

“Cain, do you have to remind me!”

“Do I still look as young?”

“After fifty outer-space-lifts and inner-hormone treatments from Dr. Lucy, you haven’t aged.”

“Let me sign my life away, as befits a star.”

“We can begin our rehearsals today. I’ll make a cameo appearance as well.”

“Do you have a bit part for Jason, at least in a musical number?”

“You two look after each other, don’t you, like good Uranians.”

“You have our number.”

Cain and Bruce take the space shuttle to fly over country and disappear into the great blue yonder.

©2012 This work is the property of the author.

  1. The penultimate episode of B.Z. Niditch’s Zoosphere. He assures the final is a humdinger.

    Read the first 11 episodes by clicking the link:

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