B.Z. Niditch

Adam, weary from his day teaching job in Galactic University 2 in fields as diverse as parachute jumping to the stars, intro course on intercourse in nebula science, a nature trip through the Bernal Sphere, a review of Timothy Leary’s high school notes on getting high; all taught on the Zoosphere in Technicolor through the advanced expansion size 3D wide-screen designed for the visually paired espens with higher extraordinary seismic powers, an English post-human study of nebula notes from a post human operative, O Wilde, a distant earthly relation to the playwright, author of Gaol and imprisoned Gaelic poet, famous like Casanova for his sex ventures considered out of sorts with the Victorian mores of his day, and nova poetry by Adam Tepper himself set to rocking chrononaut music by Eva in twelve toned robotic mega Beats with cadenzas composed by Sylvester Cain, the renowned womanizer of the outer radius and space opera genius, though Adam would dispute that claim.

Sylvester and Eva are on a spatial habitat on Venus, eye-full of Adam’s lectures, wanting, as is their narrative, to pull on Adam’s reputation to make him insanely jealous. They are even trying alchemy brownie recipes of LSD from Timothy Leary to get Adam to park in an orbit near them and to make light years of his teaching guru status.

Yet Adam has found another lover, a post-graduate, post- racial, post-colonial, post-transsexual, singer, Matta Schmatte, whom they experiment with on the Zoosphere. Sylvester sends her a postal smart pill to inhibit her. Period, end of the story! No, Adam has invented the antidote called rubric 7 cube in which Adam and Matta exceed in their madcap sexual adventures to out do Eva and Sylvester Cain now that a ring was given as is traditional on the ringed planet where the honeymoon couple will couple until their breakup in space caused by a meteor Matta has invented from fusions and craters of Mars explosions because she watched Eva and Mr. Cain
talking on the Zoosphere public radio station kyxx.

“That bitch Matta isn’t even a real woman. Dr. Kitty Katz made her a woman. This isn’t a fair war game of the sexes for the exes. I will expose her by email and by getting Kitty Katz’s medical and medicinal records from Pussy Katz, his dirty blonde secretary who was my kindergarten teacher aeon mega years ago on Jupiter.”

“Brilliant, Eva, but I knew Pussy before you.”

“No doubt, alley cat old man, prowling Sylvester.”

“You always amaze me with your physical and metaphysical prowess.”

“I am watching Matta now. She could have fooled me.”

“Well, she was named for Matta Hari.”

“I have been spying on Adam and Matta in the space pool. Watch.”

The screen shows Matta positioned and giving Adam mega doses of his sex smart pills that she also has to take all of her life, lest she develop a minor mustache, or shadow bags under her blue tinted eyes.

“Oh no,Sylvester, she is too sexy for words.”

“Va, va, va boom!”

“I’m going ballistic. We’ve got to do something drastic take action I mean militarily, it’s all-out war.”

“Not for me. She is like Marilyn Monroe or Tuesday Weld as a Lolita.”

“You have four eyes for her. A real space lady knows.”

“After I dispose of Adam I will pay a space odyssey call on Matta.”

All of a sudden the released meteor from Matta invades their space cabin. They flee in a light sail in opposite directions.

©2012 This work is the property of the author.

  1. Episode 6 of the ever madder ZOOSPHERE by B.Z. Niditch. Head to his prose page for episodes 1 to 5.

  2. “make light years” … Ha!

    “kyxx” … Oh, you are clever.

    “less she develop a minor mustache” … I think you mean “lest.”

    “You have four eyes for her. A real space lady knows.” … This is great! I’m still enjoying the story very much. Thank you for sharing it.

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