SHREDDED TWEETS

SHREDDED TWEETS
M.V. Montgomery

*

at the weird sisters cafe

Eye of newt, extra cheese.

austin powers gets stung

Oh, beehive!

don’t waste, recycle

I always hate it when I see a roaring fireplace on TV.  You know it’s only a matter of time before some valuable documents will be burned.

electric karma

An iPhone for an iPhone, a Bluetooth for a Bluetooth.

it goes around, too

I don’t know if it is politically correct to call Planet Earth a “crazy” place, but it certainly is bipolar.

my cahiers du cinema review

This film is a real stinker!  Instead of advertising, “Look for it on DVD,” the producers should warn us to “Look out for it on DVD.”

necks: a six-word essay

You break ‘em, you’ve bought it.

no picnic

Oh, the inevitable ants.

pick-up line destined to fail

You have yummy brains, and I’m not just saying that because I am a zombie.

picturesque speech

As surprised as a dog that just popped a tennis ball in its teeth.

sale at the auto parts store

Tires slashed, brakes cut.

the picture stays in the kid

After I leaned too far over the fence at the petting zoo, the young goat made short work of my digital camera.

*

©2012 This work is the property of the author.

  1. More inventive silliness from M.V. Montgomery, whose PUNS I’M NOT PROUD OF might also appeal.
    https://misfitsmiscellany.wordpress.com/prose-2/m-v-montgomery/

    Click here to read his poetry:
    https://misfitsmiscellany.wordpress.com/category/m-v-montgomery/

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