Category Archives: Joetwo



To start I’m going to make an assumption

I hope you’ll forgive the presumption

That all of you have never took

The risk of angering a duck

I have myself and as you’ll see

It nearly was the death of me

Go back a year this very date

The day when I set my fate

Myself and friends went to the park

For games and fun, that kind of lark

We had arrived just after brunch

Brought sandwiches to have for lunch

Which we partook down by the lake

A lovely scene so we could make

As we ate, down in the muck

There came to be, a single duck

White of feather, red of eye

Upon our food it’d clearly spy

Quite loudly did it quack and hiss

Its presence we could hardly miss

So I took a piece of bread

Held it just above its head

Brought it slowly down until

The food barely touched its bill

The next bit was my cruellest part

For I set out to crush its heart

Brought the bread back to my mouth

And ate it with a hearty shout

“Begone foul bird, away from us!

Or else we’ll throw you at a bus!”

It went away as though dejected

Its pleas for charity rejected

If I had known what I do now

I would not have got into this row

For that next minute into the sky

A flock of ducks began to fly

They weaved and circled overhead

I thought they’d land but they instead

Dived upon us, one and all

We tried to run but we did fall

They picked and kicked, bit and scratched

Against these birds we were outmatched

Then down to get the final word

There came the white, red-eyed bird

It glared straight in my eye

“Don’t kill me!” I did meekly cry

This was a ruse, was not done fighting

Through that I had my muscles tightening

I broke out from this fowl prison

And ran straight for the guard station

After me the birds did fly

They tried to poop right in my eye

Was such in fear I did not see

The truck coming straight at me

For ten whole minutes, I was dead

Then next three months, hospital bed

To quote that tired, oft used expression

It’s clear that I have learned my lesson

To keep the demon bird your friend

Or else they’ll get you in the end.

©2012 This work is the property of the author.

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