B.Z. Niditch

Adam has to do a repair on the module broken up from the galactic war waged by his space enemies who leave verbal threats on the Zoosphere for his capsule’s safety if the couple venture too close to the home planet. “I want to touch earth. It’s been my orbital dream since college.”

“Everyone at Universe University use to say, Adam, you were the most down to earth space cadet.”

Now he suddenly remembers when he was once in A.A. Astronauts Anonymous and had to renounce all earth science if it was originally invented on the home planet.

Eva puts on the Zoosphere watching The Beatles and The Monkeys.

Adam astrogates with the latest laser navigation and skirts the earth. The couple park their capsule in Greenwich Village in Greenwich meantime. They put on their bubble blue suits making them invisible to all human beings and put their plastic Zoosphere in their space pockets as they enter an urban bar.

“I would like to try these pretzels.”

“I’d like a drink, Eva.”

“And to dance the Watusi or the Twist.”

“I see Olga and Matta, these cia kgb spaced-out spies near the musicians.”

“They may have put something in your vodka, Adam.”

“Highly possible but I have the optic GJQ 11 antidote.”

“They are kidnapping the human server of your drink and a sexy dancer.”

“It’s pure identity theft, the cia kgb have been doing it for years.”

“Isn’t that the jazz violinist B.Z. Niditch?”

“I’ve heard about B.Z. on the Zoosphere.”

“We must record him.”

“I won’t let Olga grab him.”

“They are putting on their 3D glasses, so you’d better hurry.”

“Olga, we have detonated your cabin with our own red planet pencil dynamite so now you and Matta will be lost here but at least you’re in Greenwich Village and not in Greenland.”

“How dare you, Adam, who have violated all the space rules to get here.”

“I will be writing a voyeur space travel book and another on herbal nutrition when we get back and you and Matta will be a footnote, if you’re lucky.”

Adam and Olga arm wrestle on the bar while Eva and Matta are wrestling anonymously on the floorboards to the music of B.Z. who stands down for a rock band.

Adam and Eva get three spaced-up and very high robots from Jupiter to tie up Olga and Matta with super grey goo rope as Adam and Eva Tepper leave the bar unscathed and unfazed.

Into their sky hook through a light cove in space-time, the couple move on with a propulsion network using a reflective sail as they orbit by Clark’s ring and call it a day.

©2012 This work is the property of the author.

  1. Episode 11 of The Zoosphere. Yip, it’s mad, it’s galactic and I’m not quite sure what else. Read episodes 1 to 10 by heading to B.Z. Niditch’s page:

  2. “Everyone at Universe University use[d] to say”

    “Isn’t that the jazz violinist B.Z. Niditch?” … What a lovely twist. Are you really?

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